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Club Wonderland is Capitol City's long-lived, three-story, premier establishment for nocturnal entertainment. Located in the heart of historic downtown, Club Wonderland is nearly one hundred years old, built from the ground up from a 1900's tavern.

Now, some of the biggest bands on the local and national gothic/punk/grunge/rock scene headline every night. If you are interested in performing for Club Wonderland individually or with a group of which you are a member, contact Benedick and arrangements will be made.

News
(NOT TO BE USED FOR IN-CHARACTER HOSING, DAMN IT!)

Borachio 		January, 2003 - January 21, 2003
Both the violinist and Toreador band were unable to perform in January. In the case of the band, every member is reportedly dead. The staff of Club Wonderland didn't particularly care enough to investigate why. But we were excited to find Tori Amos making a surprise appearance one night. Miss Amos was kind enough to treat us to a song before quickly leaving to for another engagement.

In coming months, it has been proposed that Club Wonderland host some gathers. While this is not certain yet, the management would be more than willing to oblige.

Borachio 		December, 2002 - January 21, 2003
The Cure headlined this month and we booked a local Toreador band and a presumably Toreador violinist to play in January. Many new faces were seen in the club this month, most of them the results of unwitting patrons trying the house drinks.

We conducted our first-ever sale of a bucket full of our prized fish to a member of the Nosferatu. In exchange, we will be getting a new statue to decorate the club with.

Benedick 		Not Just a firepole. - January 21, 2003
We have just installed a firepole through all the floors. While this could be use for stripping, I recommend not attempting this from the trird floor as it could lead to injury. Club Wonderland is not responsible for any personal injury obtained from pole shennangins.

Benedick 		Gallery wing opening - January 23, 2003
The art gallery on the third floor to showcase anyone who has a tangible artistic talent i.e. painting sculpting etc...will be opening soon. Feel free to inform us of any submissions and we will make room accordingly. We will highlight any talent you have, so if you want to let the city know how good you are at something, we are your forum.

Borachio 		Management to come more heavily armed to JC next time - January 27, 2003
Benedick and I had an interesting time in Junction City. We officially entered into a partnership with Smith and will be helping to manage his casino/club/bar/lounge/nursery/brothel/sorority/synagogue. A small Sabbat uprising was put down and our precious zoo was saved from destruction (except for the burning down and getting destroyed part). Benedick and I personally rescued two orphaned baby hippopotami and brought them back to the Club to keep as pets.
We're unsure about the status of Jace McGavin, our newly appointed Chief of Security. Towards the end of the Junction City gather, a shortsighted and overzealous member of my clan prompted him to go insane in Elysium and immediately begin some cursory redecorating of the room that we were in. Though I couldn't personally see much, I came to find out that Mr. McGavin quickly exited through the ceiling and a dogpile of Kindred including the Keeper of Elysium and the Sheriff were seen in a rough makeout session once the smoke cleared. I don't care enough to slap his picture (if one exists) on milk cartons, but I'd like to know his current whereabouts.

Benedick 		Anybody ever heard of a little band called....disturbd? - January 29, 2003
If you have, be at our club on the 8'th for a live VIP performance. if you haven't, get out from under the rock that you call home and show up anyways! Live. One night only. Disturbd.'Nuff Said.

Benedick 		VIP night - February 7, 2003
We will be holding a special VIP night on saturday for all our very special patrons. You know who you are so, enjoy free admissionand out legendary Club Wonderland service as well as the music Disturbd.

Borachio 		Opening available - March 10, 2003
Our poor doorman, Inky, fell to his death last Saturday night whilst trying to fix an air conditioner on the roof for all of your ungrateful bastards. Consequently, we now have an opening available for the positions of doorperson and air conditioner technician.

On Saturday, Club Wonderland also saw the Philadelphia Philharmonic Orchestra or whateverthehell Angelique wanted, as well as The Archangel Michael. As a result, we've been told that there was a cello left somewhere in the club and that a few of our shotglasses and barstools have accidentally been given a low True Faith rating. Also, our Dance Dance Revolution machine has been mysteriously upgraded with a twenty-foot tall church organ and a large selection of gospel songs.

No word on whether the fighting tournament is a go or not. We're allowing interested competitors to sign up for the first matches.

Borachio 		May gather cancelled - May 9, 2003
Due to circumstances beyond our control, the gather at Club Wonderland this month must be called off. Our experiments with building a Kegapult™ have resulted in an unexpected new skylight and a huge, sticky mess. The ghoul crew should be done patching things up before the next VIP night.

On another note, it is kindly requested that the person writing obscene limricks about Andrea Ilyovna on the walls of the men's room stop immediately. Though she probably does have enough Protean to do that, we don't all need to know about it.

Borachio 		Promotions - June 17, 2003
The staff list has been updated with more interesting information about the creatures that run this joint. Also, a description of just what the third-floor Brujah area looks like is finally up for everyone to marvel at (thank Andy Lester for his creativity), as well as updated Nosferatu and Ventrue booths. You may notice that no one is being given access to the Ventrue booth at the moment. This may just be temporary.

A warning should be served regarding the house drinks (pun INTENDED) and the consumption thereof. First of all, knowledge of their existence can only be gained through word of mouth. They're not actually on the damned menu. Secondly, Club Wonderland cannot be held responsible for the effects of drinking any of them. Hey, why don't you just order a coke?

The rumor is that next month's gather will not be held in Club Wonderland. Finally, Benedick and I get a chance to kick back and relax. Or at least to the extent of knowing that it's not our place that's likely to be blown up. We've heard about what's happened to other Elysiums in this city. *scowls*
But I'll still be Keeper of Elysium for the gather, a position finally made official at June's gather. Benedick will also be holding his newly appointed position of Primogen of our clan. And just when you thought that the promotions on the Club Wonderland staff were about to end, Dorian Lazarus, our trusted head of security, has been named the Peacekeeper of Capitol City. That's something inbetween Head Baliff and Sheriff, I suppose.
Oh, and Andrea is the new Seneschal. But she's not on staff here, so who cares?


Borachio 		Pardon our ash - July 10, 2003
I'd like to apologize for the club being closed for two weeks while we did some construction and made some additions to the security system. We now have an x-ray machine so that we can spare you the time and embarassment of us having to search through your belongings by hand. If found, anything deemed to be a lethal weapon will be taken to the security locker and returned to you upon your exit.

In case you haven't already been clued in, VIPs get their pictures taken so that Alice can familiarize herself with everyone on The List and see that the door automatically lets them in to the security checkpoint. We don't want our poor bouncer doing all the work. If for any reason you cannot have your picture taken, *ahem* then speak to the staff and we'll make special arrangements for your admittance into the building.

If you don't know the policy on VIP night, here it is. You are admitted into the building if

  • You are an Acknowledged or Recognized member of Capitol City
  • You are a night shift employee of Club Wonderland
  • You are accompanied by an Acknowledged member of the city (preferrably your Primogen) who will be responsible for you during your stay and will present you to the Keeper of Elysium and the Seneschal as quickly as possible
  • You are personally put on The List by myself or my brother

    • If you encounter any trouble gaining access to Club Wonderland, speak to the bouncer or Alice. If necessary, he/she will summon a member of the staff to clear up the matter.

    Speaking of Alice, I think it's about time that she introduced herself.
    Greetings, fine patrons and members of the VIP list. I am Alice, Borachio's assistant and network coordinator of Club Wonderland. I have seen many of you by means of the security system, but have spoken to few of you. If you ever encounter a problem, access one of the club's phones to speak with me and I can summon a server, a member of our security team, or any other staff member to your location. We realize that the building is huge, so that is why we have arranged for me to be your personal escort via our many phones. Speak with me if any of the environmental conditions (lighting, temperature, prerecorded music) do not meet your liking, so that I may adjust them with the permission of Borachio.

    There she is, folks. We're proud of her. Before I end this entry, I'd like to remind our patrons not to force our two baby hippopotami to bong beers. They've already grown at an alarming rate in the five and a half months since we rescued them from that Junctino City zoo, we don't need them to get beer bellies.

    Does anyone notice that the
    Giovanni booth seems a lot
    more empty all of a sudden?

    Benedick     		Some notes about the upcoming tour scedule. - July 10, 2003
    Due to a suggestion that VIP night should have music just a bit less hardcore than our typical shows, I will be sceduling a few lighter alternative/emo bands with a much demanded return performance of Evanescence. Also on the dockett for the next few gathers:
    Fuel
    Something Corporate
    Spiraling
    Bush
    AEROSMITH + THE ROLLING STONES
    Saliva
    The Starting Line
    Finch
    Bowling for Soup
    Staind
    Blink 182
    Creed
    Incubus
    Nickelback
    Three Doors Down
    Third Eye Blind
    Tantric
    Kid Rock
    Red Hot Chilli Peppers
    Goo Goo Dolls
    If there is a band you have wanted to see live since your embrace, special arrangements can be made. I'm taking requests and if you'd like to meet/greet/beat/eat any of the members of these bands drop me a line and I could arrange it.

    Borachio     		Hell hath no fury like an Elder with a wrecked crapper - July 15, 2003
    Some of you who did not attend the gather last Friday might wonder why
  • the club's owners seem $100,000 poorer,
  • a quarter of the first floor is damp and growing mold,
  • a faint smell of poo lingers still,
  • and both bathrooms look like they've been home to a Crinos mosh pit.
    Some creatures that looked like a cross between Wee-Man, Gollum, and something Louie Anderson pulled out from under his thigh bombarded the club through the bathroom plumbing last Friday, making off with a poor mortal janitor, half of a Malkavian's ass, and a member of our staff. For reasons that I will not go into now, I will leave it up to Benedick to explain how important it is that we get Beatrice back. Anyone that safely brings her back to the club and utterly destroys every last being that was responsible for her kidnapping will be rewarded greatly.

    The Lupines deserve recognition for helping us with our plumbing troubles, despite their pyrotechnics setting off the sprinkler system and flooding the ground floor, causing significant damages to the club. The Brujah also deserve recognition for their bravery and zeal in assisting us, despite the former prince of Anderson, Skar, destroying Darby's favorite urinal so that he could use it as a melee weapon. Our most feared house drink, THE JABBERWOCK, deserves recognition for sending at least one of those vile creatures back to its foul origin, despite being rumored to cause acute schizophrenia, impotence, footworms, and deity complexes.

    And on a much lighter note, Benedick and I were pleased to attend the recent art auction. As everyone was informed before the bidding began, their contributions would all be given to charity. In case you have forgotten, we held the winning bid on "Charity". We expect everyone's payment before the end of the month.
    If you have purchased any piece of art for the purpose of immediately selling it, contact us and we can make an offer.


    • Darby     		Whut a hell i his thang - August 1, 2003
    i think i might done broke sonnit mashheed taters 32981123
    Written on the men's room wall...
     
    What the difference between a Toredor and a Ventrue?
    The Ventrue cost about 50 cents a hour more.
     
    For a good time, call 1-800-MEL-O-DEE
     
    Great club. Where else do you actually get served by Captain Morgan?
     
    Lupines in the club when it's Elysium? What's next, Half-Price for Hunters night?
     
    Someone tell me how the fuck they justify Dance Dance Revolution in a GOTHIC nightclub!
     
    IT'S NOT BENEDICT! NO T!!!